Over
by thejooky13
Summary: Going to a different university from the one you love is tough, but Daichi never thought that this would happen.


_It's over_.

Just like that, Daichi's world came crashing down around him all because of those two words. "It's over," he muttered, arm thrown over his face in a way that left the lower half visible. He had been laying like this for a while. Too long, probably. It had been a few hours since he'd hung up on Koushi, but Daichi didn't have it in him to move.

His felt his phone vibrate. The Caller ID said Ryuu was calling, but Daichi didn't answer. His mind was still on the earlier conversation.

" _I just- I can't do this anymore, Daichi. This isn't going to work a-"_

" _Wait, what do you mean?" Daichi's throat was dry. Weren't they talking about their date next week just a few minutes ago? What happened?_

" _I'm tired of the lies, you know? And we never see each other anymore and when we do things just aren't the same as they used to be."_

 _There was somebody else, Daichi knew it. He didn't want to admit it, but he had known for a while now that Koushi's mind was elsewhere, daydreaming about another man whenever they were together. Even so, the brunet still found himself begging the other to stay._

" _Koushi_ please _. I love you so much, I can change! I-" His voice cracked._

" _No. I can't. It's over."_

 _Daichi was barely able to mutter a goodbye before ending the call._

He gripped his phone tightly in his hand, biting his lip to keep himself from crying. He didn't want to cry. He _couldn't_ cry, because if he cried people would know something was wrong and he couldn't have that. College men didn't cry. Especially college men who have a volleyball tournament right around the corner.

Days passed in a blur, and those days soon turned into weeks. There were no calls from Koushi and no prying questions from friends, he had only told them they broke up, nothing else. 'Snap out of it,' his mother, who had noticed a change in Daichi, would say. 'Find yourself a nice girlfriend for once.'

Daichi didn't know what to do with himself. Every day was the same and everything seemed as if it were black and white. There was no color, no light, no nothing. Each day that passed led Daichi to grow a newfound resentment for himself, for who he was as a human being. It was his fault Koushi left him. That's what he told himself. He believed it was true.

He felt so naive. Koushi was his everything and he gave Koushi everything. Everything he ever did was for him and Daichi felt like he was lied to, in a way. He felt like all of the promises they made together were empty ones that had no meaning behind them. All of Koushi's 'I love you's' seemed like far away lies. He didn't know what to do.

It was two months now and Daichi still hadn't cried. He looked up the word _depression_ and for the first time he fully understood what it meant. He had changed, others were starting to notice it too. His smiles were empty and the light his eyes once held seemed to have vanished. He felt so stupid for being so caught up in Kou- no, Sugawara still. He had been so in love, he believed they would spend the rest of their lives together. Daichi saw him once on a random weekend with _that man_ and he just looked so happy. Daichi wanted to puke.

After incessant nagging and what seemed pretty much like begging, Daichi finally told Ryuu what really happened. He had been expecting some kind of big over reaction from his friend, but it was Ryuu who reminded him who lied. It was Ryuu who patted his back and told him it was okay to cry because it was sad as fuck. He had never heard those words from anyone before. He had never been told it was okay to cry, so Daichi went home and did exactly that.

Daichi didn't just cry, he sobbed. He sobbed until it hurt to breathe and he could barely make a sound. _Two years_ , he thought, _it would have been two years in a week_. He thought about everything they had and could have had and he eventually came to the conclusion that Ryuu was right, which only made him sob harder (if that was even possible).

Daichi had never once lied to Sugawara. It was the latter who called him once to admit he _almost_ let another man have sex with him after telling Daichi nothing happened a few days before. It was Sugawara who said he stopped seeing that man. It was Sugawara who said 'I'll never leave you.'

But it was also Sugawara who said 'It's over.'

Daichi could feel his heart breaking all over again. Every emotion he had kept bottled up came pouring out of him. He had changed so much for Sugawara, it wasn't fair. He was too blind to realize it at first, but it wasn't fair. He knew that deep down, Sugawara never meant to hurt him. He knew that Sugawara seeing Daichi like this would make him upset and to Daichi that was one of the things that hurt the most.

Six months since those two words were uttered and Daichi still felt broken. He was slowly piecing himself back together, but he didn't feel the same. 'Some people take longer to heal than others, there's nothing wrong with you,' is what his therapist said. Daichi had a hard time believing that.

Eight months and Daichi felt like he was happy again. The world's color was returning. Things were fun again, he was laughing. Sugawara was still in the back of his mind, but Daichi had accepted the fact that he probably always would be. He would always feel even the smallest bit of something for the man with ashy hair. _I can go on_ , he thought to himself. _And I can get better_.

A year after and Daichi had his life back. He was nominated for captain of his university's volleyball team. He had his own apartment. He liked his job. He just _felt_ great in general. His demeanor didn't change when he ran into Sugawara at a bar, who was crying and getting weird looks from its patrons. It didn't change when Sugawara told him through tears that the man, who Daichi once thought about so bitterly, had left him and now he was completely heartbroken and helpless.

"I feel so alone," Sugawara said, unable to look Daichi in the eye. "I think," he admitted, "I understand how I made you feel now and Daichi, I am so, _so_ sorry."

Daichi didn't really know what to say, but he had forgiven Sugawara from the moment he saw him here like this, how he himself had once been. There was no use in being angry, in Daichi's opinion. It wouldn't get him anywhere.

He explained to Sugawara that heartbreak was crying, resentment, throwing everything away, taking the things out of the trash to look at them while promising yourself it was the last time, sleeping for days, and sometimes it was none of that. Daichi also explained that getting over it could take a while and Sugawara just nodded.

"Call me, if it ever seems like too much. I'll help you." With those words, Daichi left the bar. He didn't know if Sugawara would actually call him, but he wanted to let him know that he wasn't alone. He couldn't help but want to help him. Daichi didn't want to see someone who he once held so dearly go through what he went through. It was horrible and it sucked and no one deserved to feel how he felt.

He was too nice to Sugawara, he always was, but whenever he called Daichi helped him with whatever he needed whether it be moving things to a new apartment or just keeping him silent company in the public library.

Slowly, they were becoming friends again. Daichi didn't know when or how it happened, but that's what they were.

Just friends.


End file.
